Tuesday, August 01, 2006

A dad's perspective

This is Jerry writing this post. Now that referral day has come and gone, the questions have switched from "when are you going to hear anything?" to "when are you going to travel?" and "Did Linda and Don get a girl? Did they get twins?" and "Were Doug and Katie excited?" and "Are you still going to name her Zoe?"

Well I am here to answer some of these (Lisa may want to chime in more later).

First, the name. It will either be Zoe Fei or Fei Ann (I think). We haven't absolutely decided. Lisa and I both like Fei, but she's been Zoe for so long that it may be hard to change. The kids like Zoe better. Katie calls her Zo for short (the second syllable must take too much effort). In truth, I will be happy with either name. We'll let everyone know when we decide.

Next, travel. Normally, families travel 6-8 weeks after approving their referral (which we will do right after our pediatrician reviews her medical file on Thursday morning). China, however, is closed in the month of October. At least, closed to us. The national holiday is October 1-7 and Guangzhou (our final stop in China) has a trade fair from October 15-30. This basically pushes us into November (ugh). Our only hope is that everything now moves REALLY fast (yeah, right) and we get to travel the last two weeks in September. Everyone keep your fingers crossed. Take a look at the map to the right and you'll see where we are headed - the Anhui province.

Now for Linda and Don Derfuss - my sister and brother-in-law. Yes, they will be traveling with us the whole way, from Beijing to Anhui to Guangzhou. They did not get twins, but their beautiful daughter, Lu Xiao Xiao (pronounced Lou Shou Shou), was born May 24, 2005 and lives in the same orphanage as our Zoe Fei (or Fei Ann). I think they will name her Molli.

Maybe they are best friends right now. Maybe as I write this, they are playing together, not knowing that in early November they will move to Florida and become first cousins, with a mom and dad and brothers and sisters and grandmas and grandpas and dogs and cats and rabbits and swimming pools and their own room and toys and unconditional love. Or, maybe they DO know. Maybe they've just been waiting.

Right and below are two pictures of the some cousins Zoe and Molli have to look forward to. Top picture clockwise from the front: Sean Derfuss (7), Kyra McNeil (9), Doug Varon (7), Jason Derfuss (13), Ryan Derfuss (10), and Katie Varon (5). Bottom picture from left to right: Doug, Kyra, Madeline Paquette (4), Katie, and Trey Paquette (7). Everyone lives in Florida.

That brings us to Doug and Katie. Yes, they are excited. Yesterday, a bit jealous and needy of our attention I think. We've been waiting for so long, and when the day finally came I think it was a bit underwhelming for them. They saw the photo, said "Yeah!," then asked us to play with them. We were busy with phone calls and emails and questions - much like a parent who has a brand new baby born. We assured them that we reacted the same way when we first saw their faces - always on the phone, sending emails, in a dreamy state of mind. We want to share this joy with them and make sure they don't feel left out.

That's it for now. I've taken up enough of your time.


At 11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! Congratulations!!!

Our youngest daughter was born in AnHui. In fact, we spent Thanksgiving in HeFei (in AnHui)three and a half years ago during our last adoption trip. Our AnHui daughter, Rayna, is now four and a half years old. We also have an eleven year old daughter (adopted as an infant) from JiangXi province (Darcy), and our eight year old son, Doug, came to us two years ago from Taiwan.

I hope the time passes quickly for you between now and when you can finally board that jet for China! It gets harder to wait once you can see the face of your baby and know where she is and what her Chinese name is...I know!

It is so cool that you will be traveling with your family members who are also adopting. What a blessing that you are both going the same place, the same time, and can share the journey together! And what a blessing that both your daughters will always have each other in their lives. That is so neat!

~Monica, of
(I didn't choose the address for my blog (spidergirl strands!)...actually it is a blog I inherited a year or so ago from my oldest daughter...she had started it, but then tired of it, so I took it over and have used it since then to post photos of the kids and write about our day to day lives.)

At 9:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations to your whole family.
What joy! I know on April 15th we had this whole conversation at Dave's wedding and knowing that you had waited so long makes this even more sweet!
I'll just let you know that Trip and I are adopting as well (as we were discussing!) but our process has happened much more quickly than yours because we are going through Vietnam and because we are getting an older child.
The GREAT news is that we were given a referral on June 6 for an adorable boy named Quang Le. We are keeping his name Lee, but dropping Quang. I understand your dilema with the name thing! Both of her names are beautiful!
I will try to email you a picture of Lee, he's 3 1/2 and healthy, he got caught in the system of closed adoptions in Vietnam, but now that they are open we were given his name and photo almost immediately.
I probably won't be able to travel to get him until January, but my hope is for November. He's on my mind so much of each day. I know from experience how difficult the waiting can get.
My advice to you (only since we've been waiting almost two months already)is to keep a running prayer dialog with God. I know he is being watched over by him and it's all I can do not to break into tearful thoughts almost every day.
I'm so thrilled for you, She is gorgeous, just so serene and beautiful. She was born to be yours.
I'll keep your family in my prayers as we follow the same path during this season of our lives.
Rhissa Parker


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